It’s not precisely 1 year. But I did start
in this same month, just over a year ago. I have no stories nor any discussion to
share, just some rambling over what happened for the past year. Or perhaps
there’s nothing to talk about. I’ve always start one of this stupid writing
with this in mind: “Don’t do Art for Art’s sake”. There are of course, at times
where I feel obliged to write. For writing’s sake. Though the name of this blog
speaks in volume. It’s a mind palace. So whatever useless random thoughts came
to mind, I would defecate it here. It’s fun. But for how long? Perhaps this is
what I would like to touch upon- “What next?”
Gautama
Buddha once said, “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment”. This phrase came to me as I was
walking home from a morning jog. Well, not the exact words, but probably the
same meaning as I haven’t come across that quote yet. But the feeling was
there. I was thinking of doing all the things I planned for the day. Showering,
making breakfast, and going to work and so on. Living for the day and only for
that day. For one thing, it cured my habit of procrastination. Everything had
to be done in that single day. But most importantly, it subverts all of my
anxiety for the uncertainty of the future and the regrets of my past.
Hold
on, I know it may not seem practical to neglect everything about the future. As
the philosophy of Eternalism suggests, as time passes, the moment that was the
present become part of the past; and part of the future, in turn, becomes the
new present. When talking about the future, there are 2 related feelings that
would usually rise. The first is, as I have stated before; anxiety. There’s a
lovely quote from my favourite anime of all time. One Punch Man.
“I’ll leave tomorrow’s problem to tomorrow’s me”
Albeit it the protagonist, Saitama is a person
who is devoid of any motivation for anything, at least he understands that
thinking about the future problem won’t bring any results. There’s no practicality
in it. Most of us are afraid of the uncertainty of the future. What if I don’t
get a job? What if she met someone else? What if everyone laugh at me? All this
is anxiety. Instead, what you should be worrying about is your bedtime, your
assignment, tidying up your room, how much squats should I do, and what to cook
for dinner. The small things that currently require your attention. Just as Dr
Jordan Peterson said, “If you can’t even
clean up your room, who the hell are you to give advice to the world?”
The
second part of the feelings is; the dream. There’s this one scene from Harry
Potter and The Philosopher's Stone, where Harry found the Mirror of Erised. Upon
looking at the mirror he saw his parents with him in the mirror. Professor Dumbledore
soon explain that the mirror shows people what they most desire, hence the word
Erised, which is a reverse of desire. He goes on and say that it’s dangerous
and people have starved to death sitting in front of it. This is a lovely metaphor
in which we all live in. We love to fantasize our dream house, dream job, the
perfect spouse, and all the things we so much desire. So much so, perhaps we
are similar to the man Professor Dumbledore mentioned.
Going
back to my previous remark, “What next?” well honestly, I don’t really care. I’ll
still post monthly whenever I can. But expanding my skill and learning is my
priory concern right now. And that is what I’ll be doing. Hopefully I’ll be
doing more of these anniversary piece.
