Friday, 28 September 2018

1 Year Anniversary

It’s not precisely 1 year. But I did start in this same month, just over a year ago. I have no stories nor any discussion to share, just some rambling over what happened for the past year. Or perhaps there’s nothing to talk about. I’ve always start one of this stupid writing with this in mind: “Don’t do Art for Art’s sake”. There are of course, at times where I feel obliged to write. For writing’s sake. Though the name of this blog speaks in volume. It’s a mind palace. So whatever useless random thoughts came to mind, I would defecate it here. It’s fun. But for how long? Perhaps this is what I would like to touch upon- “What next?”

               Gautama Buddha once said, “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment”. This phrase came to me as I was walking home from a morning jog. Well, not the exact words, but probably the same meaning as I haven’t come across that quote yet. But the feeling was there. I was thinking of doing all the things I planned for the day. Showering, making breakfast, and going to work and so on. Living for the day and only for that day. For one thing, it cured my habit of procrastination. Everything had to be done in that single day. But most importantly, it subverts all of my anxiety for the uncertainty of the future and the regrets of my past.

               Hold on, I know it may not seem practical to neglect everything about the future. As the philosophy of Eternalism suggests, as time passes, the moment that was the present become part of the past; and part of the future, in turn, becomes the new present. When talking about the future, there are 2 related feelings that would usually rise. The first is, as I have stated before; anxiety. There’s a lovely quote from my favourite anime of all time. One Punch Man.

“I’ll leave tomorrow’s problem to tomorrow’s me”

Albeit it the protagonist, Saitama is a person who is devoid of any motivation for anything, at least he understands that thinking about the future problem won’t bring any results. There’s no practicality in it. Most of us are afraid of the uncertainty of the future. What if I don’t get a job? What if she met someone else? What if everyone laugh at me? All this is anxiety. Instead, what you should be worrying about is your bedtime, your assignment, tidying up your room, how much squats should I do, and what to cook for dinner. The small things that currently require your attention. Just as Dr Jordan Peterson said, “If you can’t even clean up your room, who the hell are you to give advice to the world?”

               The second part of the feelings is; the dream. There’s this one scene from Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone, where Harry found the Mirror of Erised. Upon looking at the mirror he saw his parents with him in the mirror. Professor Dumbledore soon explain that the mirror shows people what they most desire, hence the word Erised, which is a reverse of desire. He goes on and say that it’s dangerous and people have starved to death sitting in front of it. This is a lovely metaphor in which we all live in. We love to fantasize our dream house, dream job, the perfect spouse, and all the things we so much desire. So much so, perhaps we are similar to the man Professor Dumbledore mentioned.

               Going back to my previous remark, “What next?” well honestly, I don’t really care. I’ll still post monthly whenever I can. But expanding my skill and learning is my priory concern right now. And that is what I’ll be doing. Hopefully I’ll be doing more of these anniversary piece.

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